What was interesting to me was — okay, this is going to sound kind of weird, but I spent several years intentionally submitting to my partner, which for me was an almost monastic, very contemplative and at times transcendent experience. Through these years I had a friend who sort of mentored me, and she helped me to see that the day to day experience of my submission was usually going to consist of things that felt less than ecstatically transcendent, that most of it was going to be clumsily navigating mindsets and ideas that were not joyful and serene to me at the time — but that this “mule” work was necessary for me to reach the moments of bliss because they are part of the same whole.

Anyway, this experience was where I first picked up the idea that it’s OK to do the same thing 99 times and have nothing huge click, become the divine the 100th time, and then the 101st time be back to normal again. Elizabeth’s talk resonated deeply with me because of that, and I really experienced the penny dropping.

By the way, my friend had a book she recommended that I never got around to reading (it’s on hold at my library right now, though). If you haven’t read it you might be interested: it’s called After The Ecstasy, The Laundry.