The Artist’s Way. My fourth attempt.
Yes. I admit it. I have never actually finished all of the exercises or the entire 12-week program of The Artist’s Way. The last time I tried it, however, I started to see and feel progress. I was drawing more. I was creating more. I was dancing more just for the fun of it… and then I started traveling and touring again, and I fell out of the habit of writing the Morning Pages, taking myself out on Artist Dates, and completing the exercises in each chapter.
This time, however, I am making it public.
I am doing The Artist’s Way.
And I will complete it. And each week I will keep all of you, dear readers, appraised of my progress. See? Now I’m accountable.
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Week One: Recovering a Sense of Safety.
Last week was the first week of the 12 weeks. I have already seen shifts in my thinking and focus, as well as my need to be creative. One of the essential tools in The Artist’s Way is the Artist’s Date. I love the Artist’s Date. In fact, I think I might take too many Artist’s Dates. I think I took three last week. The big one, however, was driving to Pebble Beach on the 17-Mile Drive. The Central California coast will inspire a sense of awe and wonder in even the most bitter soul.
Dear Julia: You want me to take myself out alone and just take in the world, observe, and be me? Sure thing.
The Morning Pages, however, are a bit problematic. Three pages, longhand, single-sided, 8.5″ x 11″ paper, stream of consciousness writing. The writing itself I don’t mind. I used to journal all of the time in high school, writing whatever came to mind, albeit in a bit more formal manner than the Morning Pages are supposed to be. What gets me is that I have to get up even earlier than usual to write them. I am not a morning person. Not at all. And last weekend, I admit, I completely forgot to write them! If it weren’t for the little reminder on my cell phone’s alarm, I’d forget during the week, too. So, that just means that I need to remind myself every morning. Simple enough.
As far as my own issues… well, all of us have issues. I have just as many as the next creative person, but I think my biggest issue is that I don’t think I’m good enough (or creative enough or prolific enough or talented enough or trained enough or dedicated enough) to be a true artist or true dancer. Where does this negative idea come from? I am inherently hard on myself, but I think, also, it comes from this idea I have that because I didn’t go to art school or because I’m not a formally-trained painter or visual artist that somehow I am undeserving of praise or that I’m just not that good. The same goes for dance. Of course, there are other demons lurking behind these thoughts, but those are too personal to share on a public blog.
But… I AM drawing again. It comes in little spurts. I treated myself to a new sketchbook with paper made especially for ink, but it works well for pencil, too. Here are two sketches of a bit of the Pacific Grove coast. Rocks, water, and coastline are not at all what I’m used to drawing, which is why I’m making myself do it.
Tune in next week as our heroine journeys into Week Two: Recovering a Sense of Identity.
I think I did the artist’s way fully twice during the time I was studying the format with dedication. The first time the biggest thing I got out of it was that I quit smoking. I still have no idea how THAT was what happend.
I’ve always had the same issues about not feeling like a real artist because of no training. It has only been since I actually haven’t been dancing in the last year that I am starting to allow myself to be that.
It started as a breakthrough one day when talking to a fellow troupe mate about what I “do” and I was scrambling as usual to try to explain my disability and how I didn’t have a real job but I dance and paint and make dolls and she said to me “oh, so you’re an artist” and all I could think was well shit I guess I am!
Good for you for going after it again. Good luck on your journey!
That’s great! I started with that book a few years ago but it fizzled out. I am done once and for all with music classes in September and I plan to revive art and painting aggressively, a lot of lost time to make up!
Good for you!
As for the part about feeling like you don’t deserve praise because you’re not a formally trained artist… As a recent graduate with a BA in Fine Art, I can tell you it doesn’t neccessarily help. If you don’t feel like you deserve to pursue your passions and live the life that you want, the one that makes you feel more like yourself, no amount of training or good grades or diplomas will help you to actually live that life.
That’s what I think anyway.
I almost think it’s harder to have multiple artistic interests. I find it difficult at times to balance my daily life, dance, and visual arts. And sleeping.
what is this sleep you speak of? I really do think it’s harder and I’ve found I am not very good at it. It makes me crazier than normal.
You started me on the Artist’s Way during your last attempt… I’m sure you’ll be able to find so much more during this round. xoxo
Asharah
I *heart* you. I think you deserve every inch of praise that comes your way. You are one of the few people I truly admire and hold in high regard, not merely because of your talents as a dancer, but as a highly intellegent person who is quirky, warm, humorous and genuine.
Stay true and strong, the path will be there for you my friend.
And I love your drawings….
Oh, and I’ve decided to start The Artist’s Way again myself…I’m saying that here to be accountable to myself..
Much love
Obi
Go Asharah! I was inspired by your post and honesty about having tried and never completed TAW. I can relate. I posted your link on a Solstice Studio FB group and now several of the dancers and I have decided to do TAW this being Week One. So, thank you. You never what your words, honesty and commitment will inspire.
I just wanted to come back and say – thank you
I’d never heard of the Artist’s Way until this post. I started experimenting with the Morning Pages after reading your posts, and found they really do have a profound effect. After months of them alone, I’m finally diving into the book and the rest of the tools.
I can totally relate to starting a process a few times – for me it’s my ACSM Certification. I think we have a reason why somewhere deep down.( I know for me I resent that my 4 year degree in the field isn’t enough?!)
I have also recently started “The Artists’ Way”, but for my first time… hoping to stick with it through the end. The Morning Pages have been less of a challenge that I expected, I actually enjoy getting up to write them. I did have to make a decision that I’m ok with the program’s “week” taking 2 or more, whatever I need to do it, so long as I am consistent.
So far, I feel I am really feeling some positive changes. I look forward to more of your reflections on the process… keep it up!